Allison Kilkenny: Unreported

Republicans: God approves of guns, rape

Posted in religion, Republicans by allisonkilkenny on June 29, 2010

Chuck Grassley and Sharron Angle were both in excellent form today – each supplying their own special moment of WTF?! to stun the masses.

The first truth bomb was dropped by Chuck during the Elena Kagan confirmation hearings when he informed the unwashed mouth-breathers in the audience that God — not the Constitution — gives Americans the right to bear arms.

If anyone can tell me why this doesn’t violate the separation of church and state, I’ll give you a shiny new nickel — or bullet — or however our creator likes to settle bartering exchanges.

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Then, there’s crazy, crazy Sharron Angle. Sometimes I imagine the lone, sane Republican standing somewhere in a wheat field, holding a gently swaying leash as he stares off into the distance vacantly, wondering if he’s made a hasty decision in allowing the Reno neophyte to scamper into the world on her own.

Unlike Rand Paul, Sharron just can’t hide the crazy, and she’s not savvy enough to pass off the delusional stuff spewing from her mouth as “being mavericky.” She’s been unable to shed her extremist past, and continues to promote debunked conspiracy theories about the abortion-breast cancer non-connection.  Now, she’s dropped another turd.

Here is Sharron talking to Bill Manders on his radio show.

MANDERS: Is there any reason at all for an abortion?

ANGLE: Not in my book.

MANDERS: So, in other words, rape and incest would not be something?

ANGLE: You know, I’m a Christian, and I believe that God has a plan and a purpose for each one of our lives and that he can intercede in all kinds of situations and we need to have a little faith in many things.

You see, rape is just part of God’s majestic plan, ya’ll. Along with genocide and famine.

I’ve been trying to think of the liberal equivalent of this crazy bullshit, and I keep coming up empty. Maybe Obama musing aloud about punching Alan Greenspan across the face before using him as a human shield as he takes all of Wall Street to siege in order to seize corporate assets, and then redistribute the cash to millions of unemployed people?

Maaaybe that’s the left-wing version of Republicans saying God approves of guns and rape. Except, if a liberal said something batshit insane like that, they’d get impeached. When the GOP say this stuff out loud, the media treats it as a “serious comment.” The press furrow their brows and take copious notes, pretending they aren’t a bunch of stenographers for a lunatic in a tailored suit.

Of course, I’m sure I think this stuff because I’m a godless heathen, but I find it hard to believe devout Christians are cool with Angle and Grassley saying this stuff about their religion. I don’t remember Jesus saying anything about the need to pack heat, or it being acceptable to look the other way when encountering a sexual assault because God sees the long game, and the girl’s little mind can’t appreciate the sunny side of a rape.

4 Responses

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  1. Scott said, on June 29, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Makes me feel better about all the raping and killing I have done….. I work for Gods plan…. but then why do people want me to be killed if I do those things? … aww, screw my sister, I can’t think this through right…..

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  3. Heidi said, on June 30, 2010 at 1:44 am

    Bendy Straws. Don’t forget the Bendy Straws. God loves them too.

  4. Nate Bear said, on July 1, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Wow! Th look on Elena Kagan’s face when he was asking the question.

    Do you think the constitution, the document that directly dictates citizens have the right to bear arms, gives citizens the right to own guns, or do you think it was God, who never wrote anything in words, but presumably told Moses we should never kill anyone?

    Ugh! Ludicrous on so many levels!

    And as for the left-wing equivalent to these crazies, they exist but they never really get anywhere in politics for a few reasons a) the gatekeepers of left leaning parties tend to rely on logic when making decisions as to who to run and whose arguments work best b) the real left wing hasn’t infiltrated the Democratic party much so they tend to end up in practically invisible third parties and c) the grains of logic within their insanity are such powerful ideas that they scare the shit out of corporatist and they get stamped out very early by our societal group think.

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