Allison Kilkenny: Unreported

D.C. Corruption Rock!!

Posted in Uncategorized by allisonkilkenny on December 11, 2007

By Allison Kilkenny at 236.com

D.C. CORRUPTION ROCK!!

Some Background: The original School House Rock song claimed that bills are primarily created in Congress, which nowadays is incorrect. Congress merely tweaks bills that are initially sent through a bureaucratic, privately appointed body called the House Rules Committee.

The House Rules Committee’s Chairman is currently David Dreier, a Californian conservative with a history of being homophobic, despite having been outed by journalist Doug Ireland in L.A. Weekly.

And now, the D.C. Corruption Rock (A Parody of The Simpson’s Parody of School House Rock)…

Boy: Woof! You sure gotta walk through some dark corridors to get to this House Rules Committee room! Boy! It’s sure dark in here! Whoops! Why, who are you, little fellow?!

I’m Amendment 30.
Yes, I’m Amendment 30.
And I’m waiting for the Rules Committee.
Well, it’s a long, long journey
To meet David Dreier.
It’s a long, long wait
to meet that greasy, gay liar,
This is how the broken system works
People will never know about me
Because these secrets crush liberty.

Boy: Gee, Amendment, you certainly have balls of steel to try and talk to David Dreier!
Bill: Yeah, but even if I get through the Rules Committee, I have to survive the House of Representatives where the Republicans ass rape the Democrats on a daily basis!
Boy: Golly gee!
Bill: You said it!

I’m just Amendment 30.
Yes, I’m Amendment 30.
And the House of Reps is voting on me.
The blue and the red are all screaming.
And little 30’s scared
‘Cause with no rich lobbyist am I paired.
In this town money buys everything.
I pray the blues will pass 30
But the reds will probably kill me.

Boy: You did it, Bill!
Bill: Hold on, spazz. I still have to face the Conference Committee and they could…*gulp*…kill me!
Boy: The Conference Committee?
Bill: Yeah, yet another undemocratically appointed committee that can privately defeat bills and amendments passed by the House.
Boy: They can do that?
Bill: I guess.
Boy: How come?
Bill: No one knows about it!
Boy: Aw, MITTENS!
Bill: You’re telling me!
Boy: But if you pass the Conference Committee, then it’s clear sailing, right?!
Bill: Afraid not, champ. The president can veto me now.
Boy: But surely he would never deprive the people of the United States their democratic process.
Bill: ………
Boy: SON OF A BITCH!

I’m just Amendment 30.
Yes, I’m Amendment 30.
And if I survive the Conf’rence Committee
Well, then I’m off to the White House
Where I’ll pray that retard
Doesn’t veto me right quick
‘Cause all of this is real hard.
It hurts the democratic system
But he ignores the people’s will
And vetoes blue bills sent from the hill.

Boy: You mean even if the Congress, who represent the people of the United States, vote you through, the president can veto it?
Bill: Yup! It’s all part of Checks and Balances, except now there’re these things called signing statements, which Bush uses all the time. Basically, he doesn’t veto bills. He just says the bills don’t apply to the executive branch. Recently, he tried to use a signing statement to nullify John McCain’s amendment regarding torture. Basically, Bush can use these singing statement to interpret law however he wants.
Boy: My goodness! It’s not easy to become a law, is it?
Bill: Not anymore, no.

If you believe in freedom you’ll see
Soon I’ll be more than Amendment 30.

Congressman: Well, I don’t know about THAT. Sorry, Bill. I guess those sick, poor kids aren’t going to have a very merry Christmas (stab).
Bill: WHY GOD?!?!? WHHHHHY?!?!?!
Boy: (cries)

END…OR IS IT?!

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