Allison Kilkenny: Unreported

Oh My God, the President is Batshit Crazy.

Posted in politics by allisonkilkenny on April 20, 2007

For those liberals bored with the tired observations that our president is dumb and incompetent, I bring you good news! Now, he’s also totally out of his mind! If you missed the glorious video, I would suggest checking it out at Huffpost.

Remarks taken from the video:

  • On his approval rating: “Polls just go poof.”

Instead of articulating “poof,” he just makes the noise. Children do this when trying to articulate abstractions, or describing things beyond their vocabulary. Example: The train goes Choooo chooooo!

  • He referenced George Washington when asked about his legacy: “My attitude is, if they’re still writing about (number) one, 43 doesn’t need to worry about it.”

George is cute. You know when you read a book that is way beyond your intellectual prowess and you insert random facts from said book into your conversations so you sound smart? Well, somebody seems to be reading all about George Washington. I bet that book has a LOT of illustrations.

  • “Politics comes and goes, but your principles don’t. And everybody wants to be loved — not everybody. … You never heard anybody say, `I want to be despised, I’m running for office.’

Someone must have warned George about blanket statements like “everyone,” “everybody,” etc. Unfortunately, no one coached George about not sounding like a tard. I’m sorry. A mentally handicapped…tard.

  • “There are jobs Americans aren’t doing. … If you’ve got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I’m talking about.”

What the fuck is a chicken-plucking factory? Seriously, those don’t exist. He must mean feather-plucking, which they do at certain facilities, but they also do everything else to the chickens at the same factory. But in Bush’s world, there is a factory entirely devoted to “plucking chickens,” as I’m sure there is a plant to pump robots full of “Awesome juice.”

  • “There are some similarities, of course…between Iraq and Vietnam. Death is terrible.”

George Bush is a moron and crazy.

This is our beloved leader off-script. Later in the discussion, he started ranting about the rug in the Oval Office that Laura picked out for him because he wanted something that reflected “optimism.” I guess the rug depicts a sun bursting over the horizon. Now, that story is stupid on its own. It’s something a three-year old tells the neighbors when they come over for afternoon tea.

“Mommy got a new rug!” Everyone smiles and pats him on his little stupid kid head and then they continue their grown-up conversation.

Had he brought up the rug story once, we could conclude that the president of the United States is simply an idiot. However, he called back the story. When talking about Iraq! This is crazy territory, people. When asked about his hope for success in Iraq, the president of the United States asked (you can’t make this shit up,) “Remember the rug?”


Exhibit A: Crazy King George

King George III was the guy who ruled Great Britain and Ireland from 1760 until 1801. He was also botched the handling of his colonies in America and lost the Revolutionary War. Toward the end of his reign, King George went insane, but scholars now theorize that he may have been poisoned with arsenic. He eventually went blind, more crazy, and then died.

There are spooky similarities between our George and the George of yore:

  • George III refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
    Our George uses unprecedented levels of ‘signing statements’ to express disagreement with, and sometimes entirely disregards, laws passed by the U.S. Congress.
  • George III forbid his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them. Our George has made consistent public and judicial appeals aimed at preventing journalistic and legal investigations into executive branch actions.
  • George III obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers. Our George uses his executive powers to circumvent judicial review of actions such a detainee treatment, trials, etc.
  • George III made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. Our George appointed partisan judges to the Supreme Court.
  • George III erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance. Our George established wide-ranging government departments charged with investigating the actions of American citizens (DHS) and implementing policies that result in use of our own intelligence agencies against us and the warrantless interception of communications by citizens (NSA).
  • George III deprived his citizens of the benefits of Trial by Jury. Our George suspended Habeas Corpus and attempted to use military tribunals to try detainees without due process. He also allowed the holding of American citizens without charges or legal representation for extended periods of time.
  • George III transported citizens us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences. Our George used covert oversees prisons by the CIA to which persons were taken for incarceration and interrogation, and he used Guantanamo facility to prevent detainees/prisoners from entering our domestic judicial process.
  • George III took away his citizens’ charters, abolished their most valuable laws, and altered fundamentally the forms of their government. Our George disregarded clear limitations on government power as spelled out in the Constitution and manipulated the system of checks and balances among the branches of government.
  • George III’s citizens repeatedly petitioned him with their grievances, but were met only with “repeated injury.” Our George also disregards his citizens’ complaints and sometimes shows outright contempt for opinions, judicial rulings, and legislation contrary to the administration’s views and policies.

All of the above are acts of petulant, spoiled men who suffer from illusions of grandeur. This, combined with a deep belief that they are “chosen” men ordained by the creator of the universe, and you get two crazy motherhumpers.

Is it really that big of a stretch to assume our George has also gone batshit crazy like his predecessor, King George III? At least now we can stop pouring all of our time and resources into impeaching Bush. He’s gone crazy, so that takes care of him. Now, let’s move on to Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz. Sure, Rummie and Wolfboy have moved onto other works of evil, and Cheney is already half-dead, but you never really move past that spirit of contempt for the American people, you know?

These boys will be ready for a world trial for years and years, and the rest of the world is ready to try them. Rumsfeld recently had to cancel a trip to Germany when he learned German officials had every intention of arresting him and bringing him before the International Court. You know you’re in trouble when the Germans say: Hey man, easy on the violence.

All that’s missing from the “conviction equation” is the will of the American people. We have the evidence of this administration’s wrong-doings, but what we lack is the will to hold them accountable for their behavior. We need to hold these men responsible for an illegal war, countless human rights violations, damage to the environment, and the irreparable harm done to the United States’s international relationships.

Otherwise, we deserve exactly what we have: an insane king.

2 Responses

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  1. john said, on May 11, 2007 at 7:08 am

    Speaking of the comment about ridicule vs. criticism, I have to say I agree. Ridiculing a figure revered by billions gets us no where, and though it may be funny it’s still derogatory. If you wanna criticize, go ahead. At least that’s respectful.

    Then, speaking of the comment about free speech… well I’ve just gotta say that of course you have free speech. It’s a wonderful thing to have and no one’s taking it away from you, but doesn’t that free speech come with certain level of responsibility? You allowed to offend as many people as you want, but is that the kind of world you really want to live in? A bunch of people who are in a bad mood? What ever happened to “kindness”… or how about “goodwill to men”? That really supersedes religion and you oughta think about that regardless of what beliefs you hold.

    Finally, concerning the comment about offending Christians vs. Muslims. Really, why is it OK to offend members of the majority religion, but it’s so un-PC to do it to minority groups? In fact, that doesn’t just apply to members of the majority religion, but to the majority at all. It seems the most hated demographic these days is the Christian white male, and it’s OK to say all kinds of nasty things about them, but people don’t dare say a thing about anyone else. There are a ton of people that belong to Christian, white, or male categories that are really good and nice people, and plenty that are all of these things are still innocent.

    My question is, where has simple consideration for other people gone?

    By the way, I laugh at some of these jokes – I’m not saying they’re not funny, but why have people come to think that comedy should be exempt from the cultural rules of civility and respect? Has our culture really become that callous, cynical, and disrespectful?

    I know it’s the “in thing” to be anti-Christian, anti-white, anti-male, anti-American… whatever. Just cause everyone’s doing it doesn’t mean you should, too.

    Normally I roll all this stuff off my back and take it with a grain of salt, but I just wish people would think about these things sometimes.

    Peace! 🙂 (609) 610-2757

  2. john said, on June 23, 2007 at 6:18 am

    PDF completely embarrassing the Kyoto treaty. Showing scientific proof that in the last five years alone EU (who have signed Kyoto) has increased CO2 emmisions at twice the rate of the USA (who did not sign). And pointing out what a collosal joke the Nairobi conference was, where the world reaffirmed the vast majority of the world will never sign a kyoto like agreement.

    global warming is like a “well-informed” liberal

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